Don’t Mess With Seniors

A married couple are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George .
Being Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too
tired to continue, and decided to take a room. 
But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get 
back on the road. When they checked out four hours later, 
the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He
told the clerk although it’s a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren’t
worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00
is the ‘standard rate’. He insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel
has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were
available for them to use.


“But we didn’t use them,” the husband said.
”Well, they are here, and you could have,” explained the Manager.
The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken
in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best
entertainers from New York , Hollywood , 
and Las Vegas perform here”, the Manager says.



“But we didn’t go to any of those shows,” the husband said.
“Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, 
the husband replied, “But we didn’t use it!”

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed
to pay. As he didn’t have the check book, he asked his wife to write
the check. She did and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check.
“But ma’am, this is only made out for $50.00.”

”That’s correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me,” 
she replied.
“But I didn’t!” exclaims the Manager..
“Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.”



Don’t mess with senior citizens.
They didn’t get there by being stupid!

A thousand marbles

A Thousand Marbles

The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it’s the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it’s the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.

A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the study with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning, turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it. I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net.

Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whomever he was talking with something about “a thousand marbles.” I was intrigued and stopped to listen.

“Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you’re busy with your job. I’m sure they pay you well but it’s a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. Too bad you missed your daughter’s dance recital.” He continued, “Let me tell you something Tom, something that has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities.” And that’s when he began to explain his theory of a “thousand marbles.”

“You see, I sat down one day and did a little math. The average person lives about 75 years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about 75 years. Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime.” “Now, stick with me, Tom, I’m getting to the important part.” “It took me until I was 55 years old to think about all this in any detail”; he went on, “and by that time I had lived through over 2800 Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be 75, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy.”

“So I went to a toy store and bought every
single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside of a large, clear plastic container. Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out.” “I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focus more on the important things in life.” There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight.”

“Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time.” “It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. 75 year Old Man, this is KJWH, clear and going, good morning!”

You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. “C’mon honey, I’m taking you and the kids to breakfast.” “What brought this on?” she asked with a smile. “Oh, nothing special, it’s just been a long time since we spent Saturday together with the kids. Hey, can we stop at a toy store while we’re out? I need to buy some marbles!