Mistaken identity

A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that experience she sees God and asks if this is it. God says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live. Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, breast augmentation, and a tummy tuck. She even has someone come in and change her hair colour. She figures that since she’s got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it. She walks out the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrives in front of God again and asks, “I thought you said I had another 30-40 years?” God replies, “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you.”

Mother Duck’s Miracle By Carolyn

“Just a couple hours now,” said Dad, “and we’ll soon be at our campsite!” The year was 1950, and we were on our family vacation, doing our family thing – camping. I settled down in my corner of the back seat to take a nap. The rhythm of the moving car soothed me into a deep sleep. Wham! I woke with a start, my face on the floorboard of the back seat. Dad had braked sharply. “What happened?” I asked. “Where are we?” “Half an hour from our campsite,” he answered, “and I don’t know what the holdup is, but all the cars have stopped. I’ll see what’s going on.” Dad stepped out of the car. Mom, my little brother David and I waited. “Bet there’s been an accident!” David was excited. Mom shook her head. “Probably a bear crossing the Road,” she said. David bounced up and down in his seat. That was even better than an accident! Dad came running back to the car. “Come on!” he said very excitedly. “Come on, kids! You’ve all got to see this!” I jumped out of the car and ran to catch up with him. “What is it, Daddy?” I asked. He grinned and reached for my hand. “Come see, Carolyn,” he said. I knew that, whatever it was, it was nice because my father was happy about it. I grabbed his hand and skipped excitedly along beside him. We walked past a dozen parked cars. Ahead, a group of people stood “ooh-ing” and “aah-ing.” Looking in the same direction as everyone else, we saw a mother duck, sleek and proud, promenading up the middle of the road, nine little ducklings waddling after her. The babies were marching single file behind their mother, totally ignoring the people and automobiles. No one from any of the stalled cars appeared to mind waiting on a fearless mother duck and her nine ducklings parading up the highway as if it were exclusively theirs. We all followed Mrs. Duck and family a quarter of a mile up the hill. There Mrs. Duck led her children off the road, over a small embankment and into a little creek winding its way down the mountainside. I walked back to the car with the adults and listened to their conversation with strangers. “Oh, you’re from Milwaukee? We lived there for four years!” They were discovering people and places they had in common. I was quiet as we continued our journey, wondering about what we had just witnessed. Later in camp, I sat on a large rock next to my father, our feet dangling in the creek. “Daddy?” I asked. “How did Mrs. Duck know that all those busy people would stop to let her walk along the road with her babies?” Dad picked up a smooth stone, thoughtfully rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger, then skimmed it over the water. “Well, honey,” he said, watching the little stone skim the water, “that’s one of God’s miracles. God used that mother duck and her babies to slow everyone down so they could enjoy life a little bit more. He arranges opportunities like this, sort of as a reminder to make people think about what’s important in life.” I sat there for a moment, smiling over Dad’s words. Soon, Mom joined us, stuck her tired feet into the cool water and sighed, “Oh-h, that feels good!” David wandered up and sat beside Mom, cuddling close. We all relaxed there by the creek as the mountain breeze played a soothing symphony in the trees above, just for us. Yes, it truly was a miracle!

Air Fryer Pizza Pockets Recipe With Puff Pastry

From foodtalk

Recipe details

  • Yield3 pizza po
  • Time spentPrep time: 15 MinutesCook time: 10 MinutesTotal time: 25 Minutes

Ingredients

  • 1 puff pastry
  • 15 pieces of pepperoni
  • 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella
  • 1 cup pizza sauce

Instructions

Slice puff pastry into 3 strips.Coat with pizza sauce.Sprinkle cheese on one half and add the pepperoni.Fold in half and use a fork to seal the edges.Place in the air fryer and cook at 350 degrees F for 10-12 minutes.