The Garden Show

Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the localTown hall where a flower show was in progress.The thin one leaned over and said,’Life is so boring. We never have any fun any more.For $10.00 I’d take my clothes off and streak through that stupid,Boring flower show!”You’re on!’ said the other old lady, holding up a $10 bill.The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothesAnd, completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) throughThe front door of the flower show.Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hallFollowed by loud applause and shrill whistling.Finally, the smiling and naked old lady came through the exit doorSurrounded by a cheering, clapping crowd.’What happened?’ asked her waiting friend.’I won $1000 as 1st prize for “Best Dried Arrangement….!!! “

Heavenly Voice Mail

Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following: Thank you for calling heaven. For English press 1For Spanish press 2For all other languages, press 3 Please select one of the following options:Press 1 for requestPress 2 for thanksgivingPress 3 for complaintsPress 4 for all others I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line. If you would like to speak to: God, press 1Jesus, press 2Holy spirit, press 3 To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his social security # followed by the pound sign. (If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666) For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3 16. For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics. Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again tomorrow. The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local pastor. Thank you and have a heavenly day.


When I was a teenager, I used to take long walks in the woods behind our home. I found it a great way to clear my head, a good way to calm my spirit, and a wonderful way to connect to something greater than myself. I cherished the peace it gave me.As I was walking back to our house one day, I heard something that gave me even more peace than my stroll through the forest. A window of our home was open, and I could hear music playing from our old record player. Carried along on that stream of music was something I hardly ever heard: the lovely sound of my Mother singing.My Mom rarely sang unless she was alone. I guess she was shy about having others hear her. She would quietly join in on the hymns at church, but I could never make out her voice among all the others. This time, though, I heard her, singing sweetly and softly. I didn’t want her to stop, so I Snuck softy up to the side of the house and sat under the open window. It was so beautiful. Her loving spirit seemed to flow through every word. I felt like I was a baby boy again, listening to her lullabies and feeling safe, warm and loved. I sat there for a long while with a smiling face and a happy heart.As I think back on that day, I am reminded of the story of a boy who was weeping inconsolably because his pet canary, who had sang so beautifully and brought joy to the entire family, had died. His tears only stopped when a wise lady reminded him that “There are other worlds to sing in.”I know that one day, in the world to come, I will see Mom again and hear her sweet voice sing once more. Until then I will do my best to sing my own song here in this world and do my best to share the love and music God gave me. May you do the same.Make your entire life a song of love, sweet to hear and joyful to sing.