Mrs Jones

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial -a grand motherly, elderly woman.

He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy.
And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents.
And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem.
The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state.
Yes, I know him.”

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench.

In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be jailed for contempt!”

“A Bucket of Money”

One fine evening a man walked into a fast-food chicken place andbought a nine-piece bucket of chicken. He took his chicken to thepark for a romantic picnic under the moonlight with his lady.Upon reaching into the bucket, however, he received a surprise.Instead of chicken he discovered what was apparently therestaurant’s night deposit–nine thousand dollars. The youngman brought the bucket back to the store and asked for his chickenin exchange for the money. The manager, in awe of the young man’shonesty, asked for his name and told him he wanted to call thenewspaper and the local news station to do a story on him. Hewould become a local hero, an example of honesty and moralitythat would inspire others!The hungry man shrugged it off. “My date’s waiting. I just wantmy chicken.”The manager’s renewed amazement over the young man’s humilityalmost overwhelmed him. He begged to be allowed to tell thestory on the news. At this the honest man became angry withthe manager and demanded his chicken.”I don’t get it,” the manager responded. “You are an honest manin a dishonest world! This is a perfect opportunity to show theworld that there are honest people still willing to take a standfor what is right. Please, give me your name and also the woman’sname. Is that your wife?””That’s the problem,” said the young man. “My wife is at home.The woman in the car is my girlfriend. Now let me have my chickenso I can get out of here.”It’s easy to look good to people who don’t know you. Many of usdo a good deed here and there, go to church, say the right words,and everyone thinks we’re something that we’re not. But God seesyour heart. It really doesn’t matter how much you do or whatother people think of you. What matters is what’s on the inside.