The Nature of Change

There will be many losses along our path. AndPeople are not taught how to let them go. But theseLosses are a part of our change – our growth.When the leaves fall off of a tree in autumn does theTree wait for them to come back? No, a healthy treeGrows new leaves. They’re not going to be the sameLeaves, but they will be their leaves nonetheless. AndThis is the Universal cycle of change which we are allA part of.But human nature is to resist change.So instead we try and hold onto what we feel we’reLosing. And we get stuck.But it’s time to let go. Time to be all you can be.Time to take the lessons from the past and applyThem to where you’re going. Take the lessons withYou to the future but leave the situations and oldBehaviors and patterns behind.This can be really hard since we’re so used toFunctioning under the banner of those old behaviors.But if you really think about it, you’ll see that they’reConditioned responses. And as such can beUnconditioned. It takes time and practice, but it isVery much within the realm of possible.It’s normal to respond in a way we’re used to. TheFirst step is to look objectively at your actions andWhat they bring you. If you don’t like what you’reGetting from them, acknowledge it’s time for aChange. And bit by bit start piecing together thatChange – the pieces of your life.Many people keep replaying old events in theirHeads. If only I’d done X, think of where I’d be now.If only someone else had seen what was “right”They wouldn’t have left.But going back to a situation over and over onlyKeeps you in that event – which is in the past. YouCan replay it as many times as you want but itWon’t change what happened. And it won’t bringAbout the changes in you that the Universe isTrying to hand you. Basically, it won’t bring youAny happiness.Waiting for someone to come and fix whatHappened is a waste of time. And each minuteYou spend doing that could have been spentMoving forward.Other people have their own lives and aren’tResponsible for yours. Healthy relationships comeWhen we don’t need the other person to fix us. WeCan support each other as we heal, but we cannotBring the other person to the place where healingBegins. That can only happen when the individualLets go of what’s been holding them back.Talking about what’s happened over and over won’tChange things. Looking for validation from anotherIn regard to what happened will keep you feelingInvalidated since nobody else can make thingsRight for you.And should they?Think about it this way. Each experience or patternWe let go of is a loss. And with loss there is justGoing to be pain. Allowing those emotions meansAllowing all the other ones too though. And there isA lot of joy out there to experience.But if you’re holding that piece of history in yourHands, walking around begging someone to takeIt from you, you’re not going to find what you’reLooking for. Because nobody else had YOURExperience. The parcel you’re lugging around isInvisible to them. So how can they take it from you?Explain things all you want, but that won’t help. AllYou’ll get is frustrated and crippled by resentmentBecause nobody else is helping.Wouldn’t it be nicer to set it down on the path andKeep walking? The feeling of loss will pass. TheAnticipation of that pain is always worse than theReality. Bid the bit of history a gentle farewell withKindness and respect for where you want to go.And when your load is gone – portion by portion -The only direction you can go is up – and onward.How liberating! And it’s a feeling only you canGive yourself.Trying to change the past is a big waste of time -Big, big big!!It’s really okay to forgive people and situations. It’sOkay to have compassion and understanding forOthers. By saying they deserve it, you’re reallySaying you do. You’re saying you don’t deserve toBe stuck back somewhere else.Forget about who’s right and who’s wrong. StopTrying to even the score. What you’re really sayingBy trying to prove your point is that you don’t believeIn you. Because if you did, it wouldn’t matter whatSomeone else believed in would it?By focusing all our attention on changing someoneelse’s perspective – someone else’s ideas – we’reAlso avoiding working on ourselves. We’re sayingThat the other person doesn’t own their ownemotions. And that translates to our feelings aboutourselves.It all comes back to how you feel about yourself,which is your responsibility. And you do own yourown emotions – and your own your path.Saying good bye to the past can be so very hard.And we can get so caught up in staying put thatwe don’t even realize what we’re doing. That staticplace becomes our existence. But we’re not meantto stay in one place. We’re meant to live.Release the baggage, release others – Life ischange and the nature of change is letting go!